Chaotic Love: and Other Essays on Intimacy (Digital)

This zine is a love letter to those with disorganized attachment. The first essay, “Chaotic Love,” comes directly from my book manuscript. In the longest essay in this collection, I describe how I came to be someone with disorganized attachment, and I share some vulnerable moments of Femme4Femme intimacy (from hook ups to my relationship with my best friends) that have healed me and my attachment wounds.

In “Queer Romance,” I look at the ways in which romance as we understand it has been built on traditional cishetmononormative tropes and insecure attachment, proposing a queer form of romance in its place.

In the third piece of writing, “Notes on Loving Someone With a Dissociative Disorder,” I write to those who want to love me but don’t know how, breaking down the ways in which disorganized attachment and its accompanying dissociation can make it challenging, but in no way impossible, for me to foster intimacy.

And finally, in “Learning to Trust in Uncertainty,” I share my own process of learning to be with one of the most triggering things for folks with disorganized attachment: uncertainty.